weirdo....

i've been behaving really weird lately....

i have a secret crush on this guy....
i did a lot of research on him: i looked up his friendster, i usually visit his blog and i always read anything related to him (the things he wrote, where he usually goes, his sched etc.)
i have become one of his official stalkers!!!
i love seeing him even though i rarely look at him directly....
most of the time, i stare at him sideways or when i'm behind him
actually, i haven't stared at his face for more than 15 seconds....
i'm not even sure if i have already seen his face.... i just know some of its familiar features....

my friend also had a crush on this guy....
we would talk about him when we have time
my friend only met this guy during the start of the school year.... yet, she spends more time with him than me

i sometimes get jealous....
there are times when i wish that he didn't get the chance to meet my friend
i was selfish....
i really felt bad about how i was behaving and how i was treating my friend but i can't stop myself from feeling that way....
sometimes, i scold myself for telling my friend everything i know about our crush

the funny thing is, no matter how jealous i get, i still help my friend get closer to our crush
whenever i hear something new about him, i immediately tell it to my friend....
i smile when she tells me the things they talked about when they're together and how they seem to get along really well....
i find it hard to understand this behavior....
sometimes i can't understand why i'm doing this and that....

it seems like i'm a real weirdo!!!
i feel like a real psycho!!!

do these things make sense?
i'm not really sure....
i don't even know if i'm making sense....
hahahahahaha