i'm not sure about this....

i've been reading testimonials in my friendster account....
i just realized something....
i've been concentrating on other insignificant things
that i failed to notice some things passing by....

friends that i failed to greet....
opportunities that i failed to capture....
people i failed to thank....
things i failed to fix....

i've always been telling myself
that i'm always ignored by people....
that i'm always misunderstood....
that i'm always misjudged....
that people are always treating me bad....

but in fact....
i'm the one doing this....
not only to myself....
but also to other people....

most people i met treated me
with pride....
with honor....
they thought i was the best....
they thought i was someone to be idolized....
they trusted me....
they believed in me....
but with the way things are going on right now....
i'm failing their expectations....

i'm not doing my best....
i'm becoming egoistic....
i'm always thinking of myself....
i'm always saying that i don't like egoistic people....
but in fact.... i'm the one acting like an egoistic person....

my principles have changed....
the laws i lived by have changed....
i'm slowly being transformed into someone new....
someone that is not the true me....
influences from the outside have somehow triggered these changes....
i thought i was responding to challenges correctly....
but in fact.... i'm not....
i think i gave the wrong response to the challenges that i met lately

it's not yet too late....
i could still change....
i could still improve myself....
fro the better....
may God help me through this....
i really need it....