in the silence

Sunday, August 31, 2008

sabi ko na eh....

nang matanggap ko ang mensahe mo, natuwa talaga ako
pero sa loob-loob ko, naalala mo ba talaga ang araw na ito o may nagsabi lang sa'yo
masaya na sana ako
kaya lang may nagsabi sa akin:
"Hmm.. Wla.. Tinext q lng naman cla n...."
kaya ayun, may nagsabi nga sa iyo
ok lang naman, kahit papaano naisip mo ako ngayon.
naisingit mo ako sa mga ginagawa mo
napaglaanan mo ng panahon ang pagpapadala sa akin ng mensahe
salamat
napasaya mo ako...

Saturday, August 30, 2008

something to think about....

A Thank You Note

by Jeff Wonoprabowo

Dear Professor,

Medical school is filled with plenty of defining moments. During my first year, one of those moments was meeting you. I'm not quite sure what word I'd use to describe that time I first met you. Odd? Eerie? Creepy? Awesome? Inspiring? Solemn?

I remember looking at you, a little intimidated. You were the expert in what you were going to teach me. I was a little lost as to what I needed to do. I noticed your wrinkled skin. You could probably tell me a whole bunch of fascinating stories from your lifetime.

A classmate mumbled that you were old. But you looked calm and composed –- not at all like a rookie teacher. It was reassuring. I knew I'd learn a lot from you during the course of my first year.

I remember staring at the muscles of the neck in Anatomy lab. I was confused about which muscles were which. Was this the anterior scalene? Or was that the anterior scalene? If this one is the anterior, then that must be the middle. But wait, what the heck is this muscle here? Staring into a human neck for the first time can be disorienting. And it often only barely resembles the drawings in Netter's Atlas. I lamented, but you offered no answer. Instead, you remained silent, forcing me to figure it out on my own. And when I finally figured it out, I thought I could make out the beginnings of
a smile on your face.

Because I struggled, I remembered. And I did well on that first anatomy lab practical.

The rest of the year followed in similar fashion. I was stuck and confused. You stuck to your teaching method. At least you were consistent. Regardless, you stayed right beside me all along.

I came to accept your method of teaching and even found your silent presence calming -– even if I often wished for you to just speak up and point out what I was looking for.

I just wanted to write this note to say thank you. I'm sorry you will never get to read this. At the memorial service we held for all those who had donated their bodies to our Anatomy program, I sat quietly and looked around. There were plenty of family members there to remember and celebrate their loved ones. I couldn't help but wonder if your family was there.

Was it that old lady wiping away tears? Was it the young lady who sat proudly as her loved one was appreciated by so many students? I don't know; I'll never know.

I never knew your name. But I knew your face. I knew your arms, your hands, and your legs. I knew you inside and out. And I know that you have give 100% of yourself so that I could be a better doctor.

Thank you, Professor.

Reference:
http://medscape.typepad.com/thedifferential/2008/07/a-thank-you-note.html

Tuesday, August 05, 2008

panibagong buhay...

tapos na ang tatlong modules
tapos na ang limang mahabang pagsusulit
tapos na ang apat na histo at wet lab sessions
tapos na ang apat na SGDs
mahigit sa dalawang buwang nakakabangag na lectures sa klase

ilang beses na akong nabigo...
mga pagsusulit na akala ko mataas pero hindi pala
mga sagot na akala ko tama pero mali pala
ilang beses na akong nagkamali, ilang beses na akong bumagsak
dahil dito, maraming beses na akong pinanghinaan ng loob
ilang beses ko nang tinanong kung dapat ba talaga akong tumuloy sa med
kung ito nga ba talaga ang dapat kong ginagawa

pero ngayon, pinipili kong bumangon
nais kong isipin at paniwalaang desidido na talaga akong pagbutihan ang lahat
na buo ang loob kong babawi ako sa lahat ng mga naging pagkukulang ko noong nakaraan
tama na ang reklamo
tama na ang pagsasabing hindi maganda ang sitwasyon
tama na ang pagbibigay ng rason sa katamaran
hindi ang sitwasyon ko ngayon ang makikibagay sa akin
AKO ang dapat na makibagay
AKO ang dapat pumili at magdesisyon na magbago para mabuhay sa kinalalagyan ko ngayon

bukas haharapin ko na ang isa sa pinakamahalagang bahagi ng buhay med school ko
makikilala ko na ang "taong" magtuturo sa akin buong taon
ang "taong" magiging bahagi ng mga natitirang buwan ko sa YL5
siya ang daan para matuto ako
sana magkatulungan kami...

AKO ang bubuo ng kinabukasan ko dito
AKO ang kikilos para matuto
kailangan ko pa rin ng tulong at gabay ng iba
pero sa huli, kailangan ko pa ring magdesisyon
magdesisyon at kumilos upang gamitin sa tama ang lahat ng tulong at gabay na nakukuha ko

gusto ko nang magbagong buhay
hindi na uubra ang dati kong istilo sa pag-aaral
kailangan ko talagang kumilos ngayon na, bago pa mahuli ang lahat...

dear God, tulungan niyo po ako....
di ko po ito kaya ng magisa...

the cost of oil subsidies

Editorial
The Cost of Oil Subsidies

Developing countries are growing faster than rich nations. Government subsidies are exacerbating their unquenchable thirst for oil to shield the poor from high energy prices, where eliminating subsidies might lead to inflation. | NYtimes


It is not too surprising
that oil prices have retreated from the lofty highs of more than $140 a barrel reached in July. Energy consumption is falling across the industrial world. Americans, the world’s most avid gas guzzlers, finally responded to higher prices. They drove about 10 billion miles less in May than they did in the same month last year. They are trading in their S.U.V.’s for more sensible vehicles. As oil prices rose by two-thirds, American oil consumption fell by 900,000 barrels a day between the first quarter of 2007 and the same period of 2008.

Unfortunately, a large share of the world’s population is not responding to high energy prices. Across the developing world, governments are subsidizing energy, blunting the incentive to conserve by keeping prices low. They are absorbing the savings made by industrial countries and helping to raise oil prices by stoking demand.

In China, demand rose by 400,000 barrels a day between the first quarter of 2007 and the same period of 2008. Demand in the industrialized nations in the Organization for Economic Cooperation and Development fell by one million barrels a day over the same period. In the rest of the world, it grew by 1.1 million barrels.

Developing countries are growing faster than rich nations, of course. But experts say that government subsidies are exacerbating their unquenchable thirst for oil. Keith Bradsher reported in The Times that China is expected to spend about $40 billion this year in subsidies. Venezuela and Egypt are forecast to spend more than 5 percent of their total economic output on subsidies this year. Indonesia is predicted to spend almost as much, the International Monetary Fund estimates.

In all, the I.M.F. says that 48 countries are shielding consumers from high energy prices with subsidies. As a result, while demand for oil in the rich world is expected to fall about 1 percent this year, consumption in emerging and developing countries is forecast to rise 3 percent, according to estimates by I.M.F. economists.

Governments in developing countries say they must shield the poor from high energy prices. They worry that eliminating subsidies might lead to inflation at a time when prices are rising broadly. But these subsidies are misguided and mainly benefit the well-off, who own big cars and fly in jets, as well as energy-intensive industries, which are not usually those that create most jobs.

They are expensive, sucking in public money that might be better used on, say, health care or education. And they get costlier as the price of oil rises, which explains why some countries, including China and India, have allowed domestic energy prices to rise somewhat.

Subsidies are a big factor keeping world oil prices high. Outside of the Middle East and some parts of Texas, this is in nobody’s interest.


Copyright 2008 The New York Times Company