so sad....

been busy lately....
haven't got the chance to update this....

anyway....
i have been feeling really sad today....
hahahahahahahaha
i have realized a lot of things because of the two talks i attended this week....
although i have realized a lot of things....
i can't help but feel sad and lonely....

i dunno....
i have been feeling a bit lonely since this year started....
maybe i'm just looking for someone to talk to.... someone who would listen to me intently....
sadly, i haven't found anyone in ateneo....
the people there speaks to me but, when i try to talk to them about something, it seem like they're not eager to listen....
i'm not sure if this is true but, this is what i feel whenever i'm with them....
maybe i'm just being paranoid....
but i can't help feeling "out of place" whenever i'm with them....
i just hope i get over this soon....
i don't want to live alone for the rest of my college years....
that would be unbearable....

until now.... i haven't adjusted to the university lifestyle....
it's not that the people there are bad or anything like that....
it's just that i'm scared or something....
i just feel uneasy when i'm in school....
i feel like a lot of eyes are staring at me, criticizing my every move....
this is scary....
i'm like a paranoid....
hahahahahahahaha

i just hope i get over this soon....
it's really stopping me from excelling in my subjects....
i hate it when that happens....

oh well....
i'm the one to blame for all of this....
i'm the one causing all of these troubles....
just because i'm scared to change.... i'm scared to take risks....
Grrrrrr....

i'm falling!!!!!!!!!!!!!
someone please catch me!!!!!!!!!!!!
i need some help please!!!!!!!!!!!!