kapag sumagot si inday....

sobrang natutuwa ako sa mga text na ito!
pagkabasa ko pa lang natawa na talaga ako.
nakaka-nose bleed
sana matuwa rin kayo :)

"A change in the weather patterns might have occurred causing havoc to affected surroundings.. the way debris are scattered indicated that the gust of wind is going northeast.. causing damage to the path it is going"
- sagot ni inday sa amo nung tinanong kung bakit nagkalat ang basura sa likod ng bahay

"Stop your raucous behavior. it is bound to result in property damages and if that happens there will be a corresponding punishment to be inflicted upon you!"
- si inday, pinagsasabihan ang mga bata na wag maglikot

"Compromising safety with useless aesthetics, the not-so-well engineered architectural design of our kitchen lavatory affected the boy's cranium with a slight boil at the left temple near the auditory organ."
- sagot ni inday nang tanungin siya ng kanyang amo tungkol sa bukol ni junior

"sometimes people choose to leave not because of selfish reasons, but because they just know that things will get worse if they will stay... Leaving can be a tough act and its harder when people can hardly understand you for doing so..."
- comment ni inday sa pag-alis ni Angel Locsin sa GMA

amo: inday, bumili k nga ng mga isda.. Ay ongapala, inglesera ka n ngaun, would you please buy many fishes for this week's meals?
inday: judging by ur statement, i believe u meant a variety of fish. the term 'fishes' although rarely used, connotes a plethora of different kinds of the said grilled aquatic creatures. but the more pressing questions before i go to the wet market would be: what type of fish? fillet or not? frozen or fresh? (pauses) Ahh.. Given the eager budget afforded by this household's quasi-peasant class taste, i assume i shall source the staple "galewng-gong". am i correct?
amo: leche!

"How do I stop fallin' for someone? How do i defy the pull of gravity? Can i just flee? Flee before I hit the ground and suffer the pain? And tell myself: why do I choose to fall in the 1st place, when I know from the start that someone's never gonna be there to catch me anyway?"
- tanong ni inday sa sarili nuya nang ma-inlove sa amo niya

"Maybe the bitterness is okay to stay... Maybe it's all we have left aside from memories... Maybe being bitter is the only way we can move on...Because without the bitterness, we'd all just be martyrs, silently haunted and secretly torn apart..."
- inday, nagpaka-bitter nang hindi magustuhan ng amo niya

"How will you know that your love has faded? It's when you see each other and everything's quite normal. Nothing special, no racing of heartbeat, no flushing of cheeks, no twinkling eyes, no tensed movements. Just contentment that you're through with the person..."
- inday, trying to move on

"The statue restricts me to love you but you have the provocation.. The way you smile is the proximate cause why I love you. We have some rules to think of. We have no vested rights to love each other because the upper household dismissed my petition!"
- ganito nakipagbreak si inday kay dodong (driver ng kapitbahay)

"I'd rather choose being hurt with the truth than making me believe with all the lies. Leave me rather than be with me but your heart belongs with someone else. Break up with me rather than use me and be just your option.. Give up on me rather than staying in the relationship when I know I was the only one fighting.. Let me go rather than hearing painful words from you. Yes it hurts but I'd rather be alone than be with someone who takes me for granted and doesn't realize my worth.."
- inday, nahuli si dodong may kasamang iba, ayun, nageemote..

jeepney driver: "Hoy! Bakit sais lang bayad mo?! Syete na pamasahe ngayon!"
inday: "I am currently enrolled in a two-year vocational course in an academic institution. Therefore, I am a student and by this fact, I am entitled to have the inalienable right to avail of a certain discount on my jeepney fare. This is why I provided a payment less than what you expected, because that is according to the law, as stated in the fare matrix."
driver: "Aww"
- nung scene ni inday pagkatapos bumili ng bread sa goldilocks para kay kris

amo: "Inday, ano'ng ulam ? Darating na si Sir m.."
inday: "Due to the infrequent mass media coverage around hog cholera, I'd consequently given judgment on sauteing exquisite scallops in unsalted butter together with pungent white onion and tossed it with brisk asparagus.. I'd also assented to twist it with fresh lemon zest and advance the taste via blending a petty amount of chardonnay white wine as well as a cup of viscuous cream.."
amo: "ah.. ok.. wag ka nang maghanda, kakain na lang kami sa labas! letse ka!"

sa resto:
waiter: "Ano po order nila, ma'am?"
amo: "Yung fried chicken meal na lang. Ikaw inday, ano sa'yo?"
inday: "I would like to partake of a dish of sauteed pork and chicken, boiled in thick essence of soy and cane extracts, with copious amounts of garlic, onion and laurel, sprinkled generously with fine spices and served with a generous helping of root crop and a helping of rice."
amo: "Iho, adobo with rice daw."

"Much as I want to indulge in the proliferation of such indecent and malicious information, I want to lift the stigma and alleviate society's perception of our profession.."
- inday, tumatangging makipagtsismisan sa katulong sa kabilang bahay

(amo, pinakialaman ang cellphone ni inday):
message: "I'm not extremely good looking but I have a sense of humor. I'm not breathtakingly intelligent but I'm relatively witty. I'm not insanely rich but I'm fairly kind. I'm just a simple guy with a crazy elusive ambition of meeting your acquaintance. So, hi!"
- dodong, nakikipagtextmate

"I stay awake in the coldness of the darkened sky contemplating why, for some reasons, has my emptiness made itself manifest, extending to that niche where I was given life and growth that because of austerity I was made separated from..."
- inday, hindi makatulog dahil naho-homesick

"I am solitary. I find it hard to succumb into slumber, though the downpour of rain should've made it easy. This exuberant emotional glue I have for you, cannot be simply washed away. The multiplicity of what I feel for you is inevitable. This isn't platonic. It's real, true romance."
- inday, nag-eemote sa may bintana habang iniisip si dodong, ang boyfriend niya

"Drunken shrimp and blue lobster meat with caviar served with milagrosa rice (red variety) and apricot sauce. Vegetable in balsamic vinegar splashed with extra virgin olive oil. Lychee and peach salad with sour cream cheese topped with lemon zests."
- baon ni junior sa daycare na inihanda ni inday

"Bloody hell! What the f**k did just land on my cutie top? I mean I've spent all day just to make myself look fabulous. I think I'll have this thing removed in a whip wham of time!"
-reaksyon ni inday nung natalsikan siya ng mantika habang nagluluto ng tilapia

"Ipomea aquatica has become the constant ingredient to this Filipino delicacy which is very helpful in the digestion during peristaltic process of the food we intake. Due to the continuous rains and floods, the harvest of the said vegetable has lessen the production in the market!"
- banat ni inday kung bakit walang kangkong sa nilutong sinigang

"Heavy fire that exerted by the stimulus affect the best conductor of hear which is steel, causing the Oriza sativa which is the scientific name of rice to change its state of color, smell as well as the taste."
- sagot ni inday nang tanungin siya ng amo kung bakit nasunog ang sining

"Off you go! Under no circumstance this house would relent to such unabashed display of vagrant destitution!"
- sis inday, pinapaalis ang makulit na pulubi sa gate (taray talaga ni inday!)

"Allergens triggered the immune response. Eosinophilic migration occurs to the reaction site and release of chemotactic and anaphylotoxin including histamine and prostaglandins. These substances result to increased circulation to the site promoting redness."
- sagot ni inday nang tanungin ni sir kung bakit may rashes si junior

"Dear Mom,
Had it not been for the smelling salt, I must have collapsed moment ago. Junior has become a little monster to me. Remember the head accident he had? As if it wasn't enough, he was summoned by the principal of his shabbily run academe. Oh such an erudite bunch of baboons! I never though being a governess can be such a strenuous employ.
Your daughter,
inday

Dear Inday,
Walanghiya ka! Magpadala ka ng pera! Nasa ospital nanay mo, dumugo ang ilong kababasa ng pesteng sulat mo!
Tatay"

"Physical stress and excessive work may result to serious damage to one's body. It is therefore essential that once in a while we take a break from our usual routine to replenish the lost energy we once had."
- sabi ni inday sa amo noong humingi siya ng day off

"I hate how coffee turns into an addiction and how it keeps you up all night. How it burns and makes your heart beat fast. Especially how it makes you crave for its rich and sweet promises of grains, milk and sugar. Moments later, it puts you into a melancholic mood of coldness before you realize, it has consumed you before you should have consumed it. Empty, hollow, bitter. Then again, you crave for another cup..."
- inday, nang matikman ang starbucks ng amo

misis: "Inday, bakit mo binenta yung sirang silya?"
inday: "I have computed the chair's fair value less cost to sell, and the value in use using projections for 5 years and a pre-tax discount rate. Accordingly, the value in use is lower, so I decided to sell the chair. This in accordance with PAS18 on Revenue and PAS16 on Property, Plant and Equipment, and PAS36 on Impairment Assets!"
misis: "Adik ka talaga inday!"

amo: "Mula ngayon walamg magsasalita ng ingles. Ang sinumang magpadugo ng ilong ko at sa mga anak ko, palalayasin sa pamamahay na'to! Klaro ba?"
inday: "Ang mga namutawi sa inyong mga labi ay mataman ko pong iiimbak sa sulok ng aking balintataw, sa kaibuturan ng aking puso, gugunamgunamin, aariing salik ng aba at payak kong kabatiran. Tatalikdan ang matayod at palalong banyagang wika, manapay kakalingain, bibigkasin at sakdal timyas na sasambitin ng aking sangkalooban."