in the silence

Saturday, February 26, 2005

a woman's worth....

I received this in my e-mail last week....
just got to read it this morning....
i really like the message....


The One Flaw In Women

By the time the Lord made woman, he had been working six days straight. He was very tired. An angel appeared before Him and said, "Lord, why are you spending so much time on this one?" The Lord answered, "Have you seen the spec sheet on her? She has to be water-proof, but not plastic or hard. She must have over 200 movable parts, all replaceable and be able to run on diet Coke and leftovers. She must have a lap that can hold at least four children at a time, a kiss that can cure anything from a scraped knee to a broken heart and, she must be able to talk on the telephone, cook, scold a child and pet the dog all at the same time with only two hands." The angel was astounded. "No way! Only two hands?!"
"Yes." The Lord said, "and that's just the standard model." "Lord, that is too much work for you. Wait until tomorrow. You can finish up then." "No!" The Lord protested. "I am too close to finishing this creation that is so close to my heart. She can already heal herself and work 18 hours a day. I'm just about done." The angel moved in for a closer look and touched the woman. "Lord, you've made her so soft." "Yes, she is soft," the Lord agreed. "But she is also tough! You have no idea what she can do, endure or accomplish." "Will she be able to think too?" the angel asked. The Lord replied, "Not only will she be able to think, she will be able to pray, reason, mediate, negotiate and meditate." The angel noticed something and reach out to touch the woman's cheek. "Oops! You've put so much in her, she starting to leak Lord. I told you, you were putting to much in this one." "That's not a leak. That's a tear." "What's that for?" The angel inquired.
The Lord whispered, "Her tears are the way she will express her joy, her sorrow, her pain, her disappointment, her love, her loneliness, her grief and her pride. It is a symbol of her heart." The angel was impressed. "You are a genius Lord. You've thought of everything. This woman you are making is truly amazing is she not?" With all the pride of a brand new father the Lord said, "Oh yes she is! Women have strengths that will amaze men. They bear hardships and carry burdens, but the will, at the same time hold happiness, love and joy. They will smile when they want to scream. Sing when they want to cry. They cry when they are happy and laugh when they are nervous.
They fight for those they love and all that they believe in. They stand up for injustice and remain seated in humility. They will not take no for an answer when they know there is a better way. They will go without so that their family, particularly the children can have what they need. They will go to the doctor with a frightened friend. They will go to court with a wayward husband.
They love unconditionally often, asking for and taking little in return. They cry when their children excel and cheer when their friends are rewarded. They are happy to hear about a birth, knowing the difficulties that may lie ahead. They cheer because they will help a friend through it all. They love weddings and might even help make the dress. They can cook some can even bake.
Their hearts break when someone dies yet, they are strong when others may think there is no strength left. They know that a hug and a kiss can heal a broken heart and, they will offer them to anyone sho needs one. They come in all sizes, shapes and colors. They can walk, run, fly, drive or e-mail to remind you that they love you. It is the heart of a woman that will keep the world turning and things in order.
They have the babies because men could never figure out how to put so much in such a small space. Women bring hope and joy. They birth compassion and ideals. They are the moral support that keeps the family of humanity together. Woman have important things to say and even more important things to do. They ask very little and offer all they have - - that's their one flaw.""What flaw?" asked the angel.
Sadly the Lord responded, "They seem to always forget their worth."

a memory long forgotten


this entry has become somewhat like a political ad....
but i think its better to publish this....
it wouldn't hurt if people get to read this....
at least something was expressed in this entry....
although i'm not good at expressing myself....
i think this entry would do....
a new face in the middle of all the rants and sad stories....
this is not about me....
it's about the Philippine Society....


February 25, 1986
the day Filipinos held each others hands to fight for liberty....
the day the Filipino people proved how powerful teh majority is....
the day our country was liberated from the dictator....
the day our country first plunged into darkness....

most people view the EDSA People Power 1 as the proof of our country's strength....
we are proud of the event....
after this historical happening, foreign countries have somehow looked up to us with pride....
truly, this is a very significant part of our country's history....
but its true meaning and contribution to our country is not yet understood....
different views are given by different people....
all based on their own biases....

as the Filipino people celebrate the 19th year celebration of the EDSA People Power I,
may all of us reminisce the true significance of this event instead of revivng past issues and creating new things to fight over....
instead of pointing fingers and blaming each other for the country's problems....
let us all join hands and build a better country....

it could be difficult....
but it's worth to try....

Tuesday, February 22, 2005

GR, ang aking pinakamamahal na tambayan....

bilang na ang mga araw na pinakamamahal kong GR....
ito ay dahil papalitan na ang Colayco Hall

nakalulungkot mang iwan ang silid na ito
kailangan ding tanggapin ang mga pagbabago na dala ng buhay....

ngayon, muling balikan ang mga alaalang nakabalot sa GR....
(ang mga sumusunod ay ilan lamang sa mga di ko malilimutang karanasan sa silid na ito....)

1) unang sulyap sa GR.... araw ng interview with Talk n' Text
2) mga unang araw sa Gabay.... pagpuno sa Sig Sheet....
3) unang tambay sa GR....
4) araw na ako ay natutong maglaro ng Bridge....
5) mga araw ng walang-sawang paglalaro ng Bridge noong unang semestre....
6) di mabilang na araw ng pagsusulat sa EdOP at Igknights logbook....
7) mga tahimik na umaga, kung kailan di pa ganoon kadami ang tumatambay....
8) mga tanghaling pilit na nagsisiksikan ang higit sa sampung Gabayano sa loob ng maliit na silid....
9) mga araw ng paghanap at paghabol sa nakawalang puting daga ni K. Gep....
10) mga magkahalong amoy ng pagkain, pabango at iba pa tuwing tanghali hanggang hapon....
11) ang malaking computer sa tapat ng bintana na hindi ko pa nakitang gumana....
12) mga Gabayanong natutulog ng nakaupo at nakahiga....
13) mga Gabayanong pilit na pinagsasabay ang pag-aaral at pakikisaya sa mga kasamahan....
14) mga Gabayanong nagdadala ng tanghalian sa loob ng silid ngunit lumalabas ng wala pa sa kalahati ang nakain (nakihati kasi ang ibang Gabayano hehehehehe)....
15) ang walang katapusang pagtugtog ng gitara at keyboards....
16) ang matatamis na tinig ng mga Gabayano tuwing may pagsasanay ng mga choir at carolers..
17) ang mahinang tunog na nagmumula sa nag-iisang bentilador na nagbibigay hangin sa buong silid....
18) ang napakagandang "view" ng hacienda (kasama ang mga karagdagang effects ng papalubog na araw, nalalaglag na dahon at mahinang ihip ng hangin)....
19) ang mga senti moments kasama ang tugtog sa radyo noong mga Angkan Week....
20) ang nakatutuwang disenyo ng silid noong Angkan Week....
21) ang di maubos-ubos na Gabay shirt....
22) ang mga lumang logbook na di malaman kung ano ang gagawin....
23) ang mataas na silyang umiikot....
24) ang gitara na madalas maubos ang chords (laging napipigtas)....
25) ang mga libro ng 1001 Songs....
26) mga nagkalat na librong di mo malaman kung sino ang may-ari....
27) ang cabinet na pinaglalagyan ng mga bag ng Gabayano (na madalas hindi sapat dahil sa dami ng mga nakatambay)....
28) ang kahoy na silya sa labas ng silid kung saan maaari ka ring maupo kung ayaw mong makipagsiksikan sa loob....
29) ang tawanan ng mga Gabayano kahit na may long exams o papers pang ipapasa....
30) ang mga biruan at kulitan na walang pinipiling oras at pagkakataon....
31) ang mga plaque of recognition at trophies na napanalunan ng Gabay noong mga nakaraang taon...
32) ang mga nakatutuwang videos na kinunan sa loob at labas ng silid....
33) ang mga araw ng pagtambay hanggang ika-7 ng gabi....
34) ang mga pagpupulong ng Yabag at iba pang mga komite....
35) mga araw na hindi maaaring tumambay pero nagagawa pa ring tumakas ng ilan (gusto talagang tumambay, gagawin ang lahat makatambay lang)....
36) pagbibigay ng sample long exams....
37) paghihintay sa mga taong dumating noong EdOp planning at Igknights overnight....
38) paglilinis ng silid tuwing nakatakda ang komite o ang angkan....
39) mga araw na nagkakatabi kami ni @&%#&^@!%# at pareho kami ng kulay ng suot na damit..
40) at syempre ang mga oras na kasama ko ang mga Gabayano, mga taong nagsilbing dahilan ko upang magpatuloy sa pagpupursigi at pagtataya kahit na mahirap....

ang mga alaalang ito ay wala pa sa kalahati ng mga karanasang lagi kong maaalala sa tuwing maririnig ang Gabay Room....

ang GR ay nagsilbing isang tambayan, kainan, tulugan, laruan, pahingahan.... isang tahanan na mahirap mapalitan....
ngayong nakatakdang malayo mula sa akin ang silid na ito....
nakararamdam ako ng kaunting kalungkutan at pangungulila....
tunay ngang makakasama ko pa ang mga taong madalas tumambay dito ngunit, ang silid na ito ay nagkaroon na ng mahalagang bahagi sa aking pagkatao na mahirap ng tanggalin kahit na kami ay bigyan pa ng panibagong silid....

ilang araw na lamang.... tuluyan nang mawawala ang mga natitirang bakas ng aking nakagisnang tahanan....
ngayon pa lamang ay unti-unti nang nawawala ang mga kagamitan na dati'y nagsisiksikan sa loob ng silid na ito....
nawa'y manatili lahat ng mga alaalang pinagsaluhan sa loob nito....
ag mga ito ay babaunin sa pansamantalang paglipat sa Matteo....
ang bago nating lilipatan ay tiyak na magiging isang bagong gabay room....

isang bagong tahanan dahil ang tahanang ito ay wala naman sa istrukturang ating pinaglalagian kundi ito ay nasa bawat isang gabayano....
sa bawat ng araw ng pagsasama... sa tawanan, iyakan at pagharap sa pagsubok.... hinding-hindi mawawala ang tunay na GR....

Sunday, February 20, 2005

happy day....

hahahahaha
been starting to feel light and happy these last two days....
i don't know why, but somehow i'm able to ignore the things that are always worrying me....

yesterday, i had one of the good days....
i was happy coz @%$#&^%!@& was wearing the same shirt-color as me!!!!
i may look shallow but really, these small things make me happy....

hahahaha
oh well....
i need to concentrate on my academics next week....
in three weeks, i'll be having my short summer vacation....
i just hope i finish my first year with flying colors....
hehehehehe.... bit of a dreamer.... but i'm optimistic about it.... somehow....

i hope that i get to do everything for next week....
i really want to do my best in everything....
so that i won't regret anything in the future....

oh well....
this ends this post....
i stil need to go to school for my nstp....

oh, i just remembered....
its my friends' birthday today....
after my nstp, i'll be going to rhold's house to attend his party....
at last, i'll be able to see my former classmates again!!!!
so excited....
hehehehehe

see yah....

Sunday, February 13, 2005

something new.... first time mo????

1. 1st time you tried smoking:
no plans of trying

2. 1st alcoholic drink you had:
gin

3. 1st time you entered a bar:
haven't tried

4. 1st award you received:
healthy smile.... maganda kasi ang teeth ko when i was young (until now ganun pa rin)

5. 1st hero:
x-men and spiderman

6. 1st time you were sent to the principal fordisciplinary actions:
never pa....

7. 1st goal you accomplished:
makapagtapos ng grade school with honors!!!!

8. 1st crush?
rex, classmate ko from grade 1 to grade 3

9. 1st person whom you gave flowers:
Mother Mary? during mass hehehehehe

10.1st friend:
Ro-Anne, friends kami since kinder pero ngkahiwalay kami nung grade 3, last march, we were able to communicate again with each other....

11. 1st record you bought:
m2m, but my brother is the one keeping it

12. 1st song you sang infront of many people:
when i was in kinder, kumanta ako with a group pero the first song i sang alone was "I Can", napilitan.... required kasi....

13.first musical instrument you learned to play:
xylophone

14. 1st local&foreign concert you watched:
hindi ako mahilig, pero i watched KKK, the ACP show.... kailangan kasi

15. 1st celebrity you saw in person:
nakalimutan ko na eh.... ding dong?

16. 1st TV show you really liked:
cartoons, Bubble Gang

17.1st buk u bought:
fairy tales.... Peter Pan (Bantam Classics)

18. 1st sport you played:
chilhood games: ten-twenty, chinese garter, habulan, luksong baka etc.
yung totoo: taekwando hehehehehe


19. 1st sleepover:
overnight ng org....

20. 1st terrible fight:
sa school: nung high school, may guy akong hindi pinansin for 2 years.... bad kasi....
sa bahay: sa brother ko pero sandali lang yun.... friends na kami hehehehe


21. 1st inaanak (first godchild?):
clarence, pamangkin ko

22. 1st debut (filipino girly 18th bday party)party you attended:
my mother's student had her party and she invited us, but i'm not close to her


23. 1st bestfriend/s:
Ro-Anne

24. 1st wedding you attended:
sa cousin ko, flower girl ako hehehehe

25. 1st person who greeted you on your lastbday:
family ko at si han, blockmate ko

26. 1st friend in friendster:
clasmmates ko nung high school.... i'm not sure if si ahrold

27. 1st cellphone:
alcatel

28. 1st cellphone ringtone:
ring ring

29. 1st collection:
paper dolls hahahaha (addicted ako dun dati)

30.1st tym u saw a ghost?
when i was in high school, inside our third year research room

32. 1st rollercoaster ride?
sa star city, during our high school field trip

33. 1st ambition:
maging astronaut or madre (totoo!)

34.1st thing u will buy w/ ur 1st salary?
libre family

Saturday, February 12, 2005

online diary.... taglish version....

hahahahahaha
i don't feel like writing in english today....

ayun nga....
hehehehehehe
di ko feel....
so taglish na lang....

madalas akong malungkot....
dami kasing iniisip na hindi naman dapat isipin....
ang daming pinoproblema na hindi naman dapat problemahin....

ang hilig kasing magjump into conclusions....
always making fallacies....
hasty generalizations....
kakaunti pa lang ang pieces of evidence.... hindi pa reliable...
pero naniniwala kaagad....
hindi marunong magcriticize ng mga evidences....

kaasar...
grrrr.....

if only....
naku ano ba i2...
nagdadrama.... pasensiya na....
been feeling sad lately....

naghahanap ng makakausap....
naghahanap ng mga handang makinig at dumamay....
feel ko kasi.... parang walang nagpapahalaga sa akin....
kahit na madami akong kaibigan at kakilala....
parang wala pa talga akong napagsabihan ng lahat-lahat ng mga nasa loob ko....
si shen almost naging ganun pero right now... ang layo namin sa isa't isa...
ang sad nga eh....
miss ko na siya....

anyway....
ayun nga....
tuwing susubukan kong magsalita about something....
parang nagiging mahina ang boses ko at parang walang nakakarinig sa akin....

tuwing umaga nga....
kapag madilim pa sa campus....
tapos wala pang tao....
parang gusto ko nang sumigaw....
sumigaw ng sobrang lakas para mailabas lahat ng nakatago sa dibdib ko....
minsan feel ko bigla na lang akong sasabog....
buti pa nga yung iba....
may kasa-kasama sila sa pagharap sa college life....
ako.... palipat-lipat....
walang permanenteng kasama....
minsan feeling ko nag-iisa lang ako sa gitna ng sobrang daming tao....
ang dami kong kasama pero parang walang nakakakita sa akin....
parang isa akong puno na kinakausap lang kapag wala ka nang makausap
napapansin lang kapag wala nang magawa....

ang sad ng life....
pero there's still hope....
baka bukas.... mag-iba ang ikot ng mundo....

basta have faith in God na lang....
He will lead the way....

cge na.... tama na muna i2....

Thursday, February 03, 2005

so sad....

been busy lately....
haven't got the chance to update this....

anyway....
i have been feeling really sad today....
hahahahahahahaha
i have realized a lot of things because of the two talks i attended this week....
although i have realized a lot of things....
i can't help but feel sad and lonely....

i dunno....
i have been feeling a bit lonely since this year started....
maybe i'm just looking for someone to talk to.... someone who would listen to me intently....
sadly, i haven't found anyone in ateneo....
the people there speaks to me but, when i try to talk to them about something, it seem like they're not eager to listen....
i'm not sure if this is true but, this is what i feel whenever i'm with them....
maybe i'm just being paranoid....
but i can't help feeling "out of place" whenever i'm with them....
i just hope i get over this soon....
i don't want to live alone for the rest of my college years....
that would be unbearable....

until now.... i haven't adjusted to the university lifestyle....
it's not that the people there are bad or anything like that....
it's just that i'm scared or something....
i just feel uneasy when i'm in school....
i feel like a lot of eyes are staring at me, criticizing my every move....

this is scary....
i'm like a paranoid....
hahahahahahahaha

i just hope i get over this soon....
it's really stopping me from excelling in my subjects....
i hate it when that happens....

oh well....
i'm the one to blame for all of this....
i'm the one causing all of these troubles....
just because i'm scared to change.... i'm scared to take risks....
Grrrrrr....

i'm falling!!!!!!!!!!!!!
someone please catch me!!!!!!!!!!!!
i need some help please!!!!!!!!!!!!